Give Up ?/!/.

Wake up from the bed

Feel tired

Feel empty

Looking at my dark room

messy

dirty

Pull up my blanket

Not ready to run the day

closed curtain

locked door

am feeling alone

walking to classes

my brain stop working

while I hitting my head

People busy doing something

working, learning, make achievements

kept asking myself

What should I do?

got nothing for the answer,

I kept hitting my head.

harder,

and harder

as I didn’t found the answer

I want to stop walking

As I afraid

of people

of friends

people seems to know who they are

what they want

what they’re proud of

I spent my time at mirror

looked at my face, body

searching for ‘my things’

but all I see are fats, anger, and tears

God, I know I didn’t found the answer

yet.

but I want to stop looking

I want to stop searching

I think I’m done

I give up

?/!/.

 

October 17^th , 2018